Please share.VoteRiders is one of my fave orgs to support.Services are free!
Voter ID Assistance
VoteRiders works directly with voters, both virtually and in-person, to ensure they have the ID they need to cast a ballot that counts. We provide personalized assistance for voters, including:
Covering the cost of required documents (like birth certificates or Social Security cards) and ID
Arranging and paying for transportation to their local ID-issuing office
Answering questions about their state’s voter ID laws
Providing pro bono legal assistance with certain document issues
We receive referrals from partner organizations who share information about our services through their networks, and also receive self-referrals from voters who find us through social media, internet searches and other means. We work one-on-one with these voters to assist them with their documents and IDs.
This will make it very hard for seniors and others who were born at home in a poor area and didn’t get a birth certificate. Poor folks of all kinds were born at home with midwives and have no official record. This will be really true for many folks in the South. Black people in great numbers along with poor people in general. All economically stable and secure folks had doctors and birth certificates.
When he said to vote this one time and they wouldn’t have to vote anymore, he meant it. The Center for American Progress article I link to details all the ways this will disenfranchise voters in all groups. It will impact everyone who is not a reasonably well-off white man.
OMG. the Mrs My husband's name thing makes me crazy. I went to a boarding school because my parents live overseas and they mail me requests for donations all the time. They addressed a letter to me as MRs. not my name. I emailed them and told them that that was my husband's name and not mine and he didn't go to that school, so they had better address everything to me from then on.
It is a blatant implication of ownership of the wife. I cannot stand it. I hope they honored your request. Some groups dismiss women who say, "Please use my name" as demanding and hysterical. (I've been there more than once.)
Ugh! I used to work for a small non profit and we ALWAYS asked donors how they wished to be listed and addressed. Many of our donors were from old southern money families and not one woman in the entire 17 years I worked there ever wanted to be listed as Mrs His name
It's hilarious to me how Southern women will haze other Southern women for making these choices, but then when they are asked what they personally want, they will choose "Not Mrs His Name."
I found many of these women who had inherited tobacco & textile wealth, but worked tirelessly for the organizations whose Boards they sat on, to be very insistent about their own recognition, dignity, and rights but dismissive of other women, both individuals and as a group. I remember them when I see smart, accomplished women like Erin Hawley and Usha Vance who are content to throw other women under the bus as long as they have power and prestige themselves.
Contact your friends in purple or red states and urge them to reach out to their Senators. Some GOP Senators might be swayed if enough people speak out.
RFK Jr’s confirmation hearing to lead the Federal health agencies is coming soon. It’s not just his anti-vax stance, but he has no science background. During his hearing, he showed that he didn’t even have a basic understanding of the CDC, FDA, Medicare, or Medicaid. It was embarrassing.
Call your Senators, even Democrats! We cannot be sure that our Democratic Senators will vote against these reckless nominees. Some elected Democrats are caving already. You would be shocked if you looked at the list of “Yes” votes for many who have been confirmed. N.J. Senator Cory Booker voted to confirm Scott Bessent to lead Treasury. Bessent promptly gave Elon Musk permission to access Treasury records and payment systems. Thanks, Cory!
Google your Senators’ names to find their phone numbers. Their DC office voice mail boxes may be full, so call their local office. You probably won’t reach a human. When you leave a message, tell them you want a response, and give your phone number or email address. I’ve heard that emailing Congresspeople thru their websites is pointless. (For one thing, you’ll have to choose a category, and “Cabinet Nominees” is not among them.)
Make a separate phone call each time you contact your Congresspeople. Each constituent opinion is noted individually and tallied. Our Senators want to be re-elected, so your opinion matters.
Soon you’ll be calling to speak against Kash Patel, who would be terrifying as head of the FBI.
BTW, Democracy Forward - https://democracyforward.org/ - is largely responsible for the Trump Administration’s having rescinded the federal spending freeze. Other groups needing our support are Public Citizen - https://www.citizen.org/ - and Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington - https://www.citizensforethics.org/ - These groups are suing the Trump administration virtually every day.
Join me in donating to keep these fearless advocates and lawyers working to save our democracy. Even if you’re too discouraged to read the details, pls. donate if you can afford to.
I hyphenated my last name after I married. My passport reflects this too as well as my social security card. My divorce papers also shows I can change it back, but I never did, since no one else in the world has the same last name. I consider that a feature, not a bug. However, I don’t disagree that I wish I’d never done it to begin with.
When I married the first time (my mistake marriage that I've discussed here), I took his name. So I went through the whole court process to change my name to my maiden name after we divorced. I know how much of a pain it is. And how expensive. I wish I'd never taken anyone else's name. Period.
Nobody pronounces my husband's last name correctly. Almost nobody pronounces my first name correctly. So I also kept my maiden name to have at least one name people can pronounce. :) Since I often make our hotel reservations, my husband enjoys being called "Mr Watkins" by hotel staff, because they aren't butchering his last name.
There's no rule that a husband can't change his name to his wife's, although in this case it would mean sharing a surname with your mother ☠️ but maybe it helps reclaim the name.
Yeah the thing with names is they're your identity, so you want to like the sound and feel of it. People really ought to be able to choose their own names but we're not quite there yet.
As I told Kay-El, my husband enjoys being called Mr Watkins. But we never discussed changing his name. We discussed changing mine for the 5 seconds it took me to say NO.
I don’t care about sharing a surname with my mother. It is also my father’s name. I have done a lot more to claim that part of my heritage than my mother’s through various familial memberships, so Watkins feels like me.
This is lovely. That had to make you feel amazing. I am expecting my brother’s son (the only son of an only son of an only son) to do this for the same reasons.
My mom and my paternal grandmother have the same maiden name (they're distantly related) so I often feel like that's more who I am than my actual last name.
I think it ought to be easy to be who we are - including what we want our names to be. I made peace with having a first name that my Dad picked because he had the hots for Andra Willis, a Laurence Welk singer. Even though almost nobody pronounces it correctly. But had I wanted to change it to something else, it should be easy. While I get the danger of fraud, so many of these rules allow others to decide who we are.
So here’s to your claiming your mom’s and grandmother’s name. Even if only to feel more comfortable in certain situations where nobody knows you.
It's a choice. My first marriage, I did, but only because my ex enrolled me in DEERS ( military) and they put his name in, and I didn't want to change it , but then I had to because of my ID and the passport I was getting issued. After I got divorced and changed my name back through civilian and the military, I said I was never doing that again. Got remarried and never changed it. The kids have his last name and it never caused problems, maybe slight confusion that's easily cleared up.
I am always dumbfounded that people feel like they have the right to comment on these things. But America intends to force an accepted sameness on everyone.
Okay so I'm confused a bit - are you saying that we have to set our passports back to our married names in order to vote? This is nuts!
I would never have taken my husband's name. Looking back at naive youthful stuff. I thought I was all feminist by not having a bow on my dress. Younger me was in need of consciousness raising.
Please share.VoteRiders is one of my fave orgs to support.Services are free!
Voter ID Assistance
VoteRiders works directly with voters, both virtually and in-person, to ensure they have the ID they need to cast a ballot that counts. We provide personalized assistance for voters, including:
Covering the cost of required documents (like birth certificates or Social Security cards) and ID
Arranging and paying for transportation to their local ID-issuing office
Answering questions about their state’s voter ID laws
Providing pro bono legal assistance with certain document issues
We receive referrals from partner organizations who share information about our services through their networks, and also receive self-referrals from voters who find us through social media, internet searches and other means. We work one-on-one with these voters to assist them with their documents and IDs.
https://www.voteriders.org/about/
I'm going to restack this, Kathy. Thank you for sharing it.
This will make it very hard for seniors and others who were born at home in a poor area and didn’t get a birth certificate. Poor folks of all kinds were born at home with midwives and have no official record. This will be really true for many folks in the South. Black people in great numbers along with poor people in general. All economically stable and secure folks had doctors and birth certificates.
When he said to vote this one time and they wouldn’t have to vote anymore, he meant it. The Center for American Progress article I link to details all the ways this will disenfranchise voters in all groups. It will impact everyone who is not a reasonably well-off white man.
OMG. the Mrs My husband's name thing makes me crazy. I went to a boarding school because my parents live overseas and they mail me requests for donations all the time. They addressed a letter to me as MRs. not my name. I emailed them and told them that that was my husband's name and not mine and he didn't go to that school, so they had better address everything to me from then on.
It is a blatant implication of ownership of the wife. I cannot stand it. I hope they honored your request. Some groups dismiss women who say, "Please use my name" as demanding and hysterical. (I've been there more than once.)
Ugh! I used to work for a small non profit and we ALWAYS asked donors how they wished to be listed and addressed. Many of our donors were from old southern money families and not one woman in the entire 17 years I worked there ever wanted to be listed as Mrs His name
It's hilarious to me how Southern women will haze other Southern women for making these choices, but then when they are asked what they personally want, they will choose "Not Mrs His Name."
I found many of these women who had inherited tobacco & textile wealth, but worked tirelessly for the organizations whose Boards they sat on, to be very insistent about their own recognition, dignity, and rights but dismissive of other women, both individuals and as a group. I remember them when I see smart, accomplished women like Erin Hawley and Usha Vance who are content to throw other women under the bus as long as they have power and prestige themselves.
That's why unless it's specifically stated that is their last name I always refer to Ms. Never Mrs.
Half the time no one hears the difference anyhow.
Stop Women Voting: Pass The SAVE ACT (and then turn women into Handmaids)
https://thedemlabs.org/2025/02/08/stop-save-act-turns-women-into-handmaids/
And many other Americans. It is the fast lane to no voting.
Contact your friends in purple or red states and urge them to reach out to their Senators. Some GOP Senators might be swayed if enough people speak out.
RFK Jr’s confirmation hearing to lead the Federal health agencies is coming soon. It’s not just his anti-vax stance, but he has no science background. During his hearing, he showed that he didn’t even have a basic understanding of the CDC, FDA, Medicare, or Medicaid. It was embarrassing.
Call your Senators, even Democrats! We cannot be sure that our Democratic Senators will vote against these reckless nominees. Some elected Democrats are caving already. You would be shocked if you looked at the list of “Yes” votes for many who have been confirmed. N.J. Senator Cory Booker voted to confirm Scott Bessent to lead Treasury. Bessent promptly gave Elon Musk permission to access Treasury records and payment systems. Thanks, Cory!
Google your Senators’ names to find their phone numbers. Their DC office voice mail boxes may be full, so call their local office. You probably won’t reach a human. When you leave a message, tell them you want a response, and give your phone number or email address. I’ve heard that emailing Congresspeople thru their websites is pointless. (For one thing, you’ll have to choose a category, and “Cabinet Nominees” is not among them.)
Make a separate phone call each time you contact your Congresspeople. Each constituent opinion is noted individually and tallied. Our Senators want to be re-elected, so your opinion matters.
Soon you’ll be calling to speak against Kash Patel, who would be terrifying as head of the FBI.
BTW, Democracy Forward - https://democracyforward.org/ - is largely responsible for the Trump Administration’s having rescinded the federal spending freeze. Other groups needing our support are Public Citizen - https://www.citizen.org/ - and Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington - https://www.citizensforethics.org/ - These groups are suing the Trump administration virtually every day.
Join me in donating to keep these fearless advocates and lawyers working to save our democracy. Even if you’re too discouraged to read the details, pls. donate if you can afford to.
PLEASE RE-STACK THIS!
I went to our local probate court last week, paid $83 and filled out a form applying for a name change (maiden name plus married name)
I'll send that form in addition to all the other paperwork when I apply for a new passport.
Hopefully this government will honor female passport applications and won't go back to requiring women to get their passports through their husbands.
Sure hope not since my husband is dead
Here's more history on this issue from National Geographic: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/women-equality-day-history-politics-passport
I hyphenated my last name after I married. My passport reflects this too as well as my social security card. My divorce papers also shows I can change it back, but I never did, since no one else in the world has the same last name. I consider that a feature, not a bug. However, I don’t disagree that I wish I’d never done it to begin with.
When I married the first time (my mistake marriage that I've discussed here), I took his name. So I went through the whole court process to change my name to my maiden name after we divorced. I know how much of a pain it is. And how expensive. I wish I'd never taken anyone else's name. Period.
Nobody pronounces my husband's last name correctly. Almost nobody pronounces my first name correctly. So I also kept my maiden name to have at least one name people can pronounce. :) Since I often make our hotel reservations, my husband enjoys being called "Mr Watkins" by hotel staff, because they aren't butchering his last name.
☺️
There's no rule that a husband can't change his name to his wife's, although in this case it would mean sharing a surname with your mother ☠️ but maybe it helps reclaim the name.
Yeah the thing with names is they're your identity, so you want to like the sound and feel of it. People really ought to be able to choose their own names but we're not quite there yet.
As I told Kay-El, my husband enjoys being called Mr Watkins. But we never discussed changing his name. We discussed changing mine for the 5 seconds it took me to say NO.
I don’t care about sharing a surname with my mother. It is also my father’s name. I have done a lot more to claim that part of my heritage than my mother’s through various familial memberships, so Watkins feels like me.
One of my kids changed their last name to my maiden name, being less than happy with their father. I was very touched by that.
This is lovely. That had to make you feel amazing. I am expecting my brother’s son (the only son of an only son of an only son) to do this for the same reasons.
My mom and my paternal grandmother have the same maiden name (they're distantly related) so I often feel like that's more who I am than my actual last name.
I think it ought to be easy to be who we are - including what we want our names to be. I made peace with having a first name that my Dad picked because he had the hots for Andra Willis, a Laurence Welk singer. Even though almost nobody pronounces it correctly. But had I wanted to change it to something else, it should be easy. While I get the danger of fraud, so many of these rules allow others to decide who we are.
So here’s to your claiming your mom’s and grandmother’s name. Even if only to feel more comfortable in certain situations where nobody knows you.
In my opinion, women who change their name when they marry have no self respect. Sound harsh? This millennia-long patriarchy has got to stop!
I get how romantic it feels. Etc. But I want women to hear loud-and-clear: You don't have to take your husband's name. Ever.
It's a choice. My first marriage, I did, but only because my ex enrolled me in DEERS ( military) and they put his name in, and I didn't want to change it , but then I had to because of my ID and the passport I was getting issued. After I got divorced and changed my name back through civilian and the military, I said I was never doing that again. Got remarried and never changed it. The kids have his last name and it never caused problems, maybe slight confusion that's easily cleared up.
Glad now I didn't!
Man, as a woman has been happily married 15 years and never changed my name - I can relate to every word!
I still get mail from relatives and even some friends addressed that way!
I was actually excited to change my name because i have an awkward name - until I married someone who also had a weird name!
I mean, what we going to do - hyphenate?
And then when it came down it - it was too much of a hassle - just to do it all over again when if I remarry?
That’s the name my friends and business colleagues know me by - why should I change it!
I am always dumbfounded that people feel like they have the right to comment on these things. But America intends to force an accepted sameness on everyone.
OMG, this is horrendous.
Okay so I'm confused a bit - are you saying that we have to set our passports back to our married names in order to vote? This is nuts!
I would never have taken my husband's name. Looking back at naive youthful stuff. I thought I was all feminist by not having a bow on my dress. Younger me was in need of consciousness raising.
Under the save act, you would have to present a birth certificate or passport that matches your current legal name to register to vote.
If women take their husband’s name at marriage, their current legal name will not match their birth certificate.
If your passport is in your current married legal name, you’re good.
If it isn’t, you would need to change it to reflect your current married legal name.
Thank you, Andra! I feel like putting it all back in my name...